lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
