covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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