let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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