living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
