i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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