what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
