At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
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Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
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Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it