My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
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I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.