Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
