Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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