apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
