I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
