Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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