You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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