I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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