I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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