at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
