please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
