Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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