so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
