Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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