I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
