I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
