My balls are so social today.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
