i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
the liver wants what the liver wants
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize