Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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