I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
