And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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