Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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