i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
