We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
