How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
