I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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