Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
