i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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