Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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