Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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