I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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