Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
