Apparently you make a good broom.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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