Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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