I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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