he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
