I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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