ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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