so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
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