I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
