go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
