so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
