you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We need to rekindle our bromance
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
