I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
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I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
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Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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