just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
