Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
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I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
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what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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