he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
