I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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