Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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