Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
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You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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