i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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