why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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