The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
